DC congresswoman bizarrely denies letting zebras loose

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Zebras are on the loose near the nation’s capital and a local congresswoman is raising eyebrows by going out of her way to deny responsibility.

Washington, D.C.’s delegate to Congress, Democrat Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, bizarrely denied letting five zebras loose from a private zoo into the city’s suburbs.

Norton put out a press release on Friday proclaiming her “alibi” in the yet-unsolved case of five zebras escaping a private zoo in the Maryland portion of the D.C. suburbs, but said talk of her being the culprit is “understandable.”

The release says the eventuality of charges against Norton “were made known” to her by someone who explained she “has valued the principle of consent of the governed, most notably in the fight for statehood for the District” as well as a disdain for “unnecessary fences.”

“Local news has reported that the zebras were let loose on Saturday or Sunday of last weekend, a period of time during which I was enjoying quiet time at home with family,” Norton said in the press release.